Jul 242016

“Life is a highway; I want to drive it all night long.”   – Life is a Highway by Tom Cochrane

I love highway driving – day or night – in my “classic” ride.Even long stretches don’t bother me; allowing more time for my favorite hobby…listening to music. And, it doesn’t much matter what’s the music genre, as long as it speaks to my heart, mind and soul. So, I don’t necessarily play the typical classic car tunes: like ‘GTO’ by Ronny & the Daytona’s:

“Little GTO you’re really looking fine /  Three deuces and a four speed and a 389.”

To me, those long trips are a chance to get rejuvenated.

For example, a few years back, my youngest daughter introduced me to the music of the late, George Jones. I popped his ‘greatest hits’ into  the CD, and (as I complained to my daughter later) by the time old George got finished with my heart, I was an emotional wreck by the end of the trip.

I went to see him just today/Oh, but I didn’t see no tears                                                        All  dressed up to go away/ First time I’d seen him smile in years”

He Stopped Loving Her Today

It reminded me of how blessed we are to be loved, because there’re some hurts that never will die, until we do. And, no one makes you feel that pain like Mr. Jones. Thanks George, I needed that… not!

Maybe, because I was in a certain mood, as I got emotionally free from Jones’ clutches, I ran into another instructive experience – compliments of the ‘The Travelling Wilburys’ song the ‘End of the Line’- featuring the ever-so-soulful voice of the late Roy Orbison.

“Well it’s all right, even if your old and gray/Well it’s all right, you still got something to say/ Well it’s all right, remember to live and let live/ Well it’s all right, the best you can do is forgive”

Since we’re all heading to the “end of the line”, I try looking at my life experiences and contributions: could I’ve given back more, been kinder, less judgemental, more forgiving… even to strangers. As a veteran police officer once said to me, “You have to have a little faith in humanity.”

“Take it or leave it, or try to believe it/ If you’ve been down too long                                        – Rainy Day People by Gordon Lightfoot

And, to think I was a-washed by all this wisdom simply cruising down the highway – enjoying the journey over the destination. Plus more… feeling my little engine of life’s just starting to ‘tach up.’
“Now were doing a hundred twenty, as fast as I can go/
The Rambler pulled alongside of me, as if we were going slow/The fella rolled down his window, and yelled for me to hear/  Hey buddy how do I get this car outa second gear?”
Beep! Beep! by the The Playmates

Fred Parry The Music In Me July, 2016

Fred Parry
The Music In Me
July, 2016




Jun 192016

Sorry, this is arriving a little late for ‘Father’s Day’, but I hope things are going well. Your three great-grandchildren are fine… the kids send their regards.

I’ve come across a lot of your things during our current move.

I found your official black and white 8×10 navel photograph: full uniform and double-breasted overcoat, with your cap slightly cocked to one side – your broad smile reminiscent of a young, handsome 1940’s movie star.

I see that you enlisted early in the 2nd of the “great wars” – upholding a proud family tradition. Yet, I found papers indicating that, in less than a year, you were discharged as medically “unfit for duty” due to an epileptic seizure.  How devastating that must have been for you… such a loss of self-esteem!

As a kid, I remember how frightening it was to see you shaking uncontrollably on the floor while shocked adults tried to subdue your convulsing body. Thankfully, drugs were developed to control these seizures. I know your generation didn’t like to talk openly – choosing to keep things locked inside – however, I feel I would have better understood “you” if you had.

“Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I’m afraid that’s all we’ve got”
The Living Years by Mike & The Mechanic

Reading through your diaries – back during those nasty divorce years – I remember dealing with my own issues as a young teenager; never realizing how you suffered as well… especially missing mum.  Your words convey a sense of loss and fading hope: you wanted her back; she said it was too late; I struggled on.

“Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It’s too late when we die
To admit we don’t see eye to eye”

But, I also remember the fun times:you letting my band practice at home – windows wide open – entertaining the neighbours, whether they liked it or not. And, after all these years, we’ve reunited as “Reunion.” Your determination, then, made our music possible, today.

“I know that I’m a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I’m a hostage
To all his hopes and fears”

And, because of your influence – especially through your writings – I learned not to prejudge people. Being imperfect, you’d think we’d all know the folly of stubbornly expecting perfection from others.

 “I wasn’t there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn’t get to tell him
All the things I had to say…
I just wish I could have told him in the living years”

Now that my dad is gone, I find myself mentally packing his old navy kit-bag full with memories of both the good and not-so-good years… proud to “carry” it the rest of my life. But, if I could, I’d write, “Dear dad, I miss you … would give anything to have you back… have the talk we never had.”

Love, Fred Jr.

Fred Parry

www.fredparry.ca         The Music In Me
June, 2016



May 212016

The dictionary’s definition of “friendship” describes “… a relationship that can linger in the memory like an appealing chord of music.”

It’s a remarkable thing about music: an invisible connection or universal relationship, we have with the artists and their work – bringing back memories special to our lives. Everyone’s memorable moments are different, but we share the same basic emotions.

My first memorable music moment is easy; it’s ‘Your Song’ by Sir Elton John. It was “my” love song to my wife – words that  would intertwine our future lives together.

“It’s a little bit funny this feeling inside/
I’m not one of those who can easily hide

I don’t have much money but boy if I did/
I’d buy a big house where we both could live”

Funny, but after 34 years, including raising a family, we’re now leaving our grand old country home. Initially, it was an impossible dream; but today, we’re planning different dreams… adding new songs.

 “So excuse me forgetting but these things I do/
You see I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue”

Next, I’m sure people can relate to the celebrity deaths of Elvis, Buddy Holly, Patsy Cline, David Bowie, ‘Prince’ (to mention a few); but, the senseless murder of John Lennon stunned millions… such genius denied! As the de facto leader of the Beatles – the world’s greatest pop group – his death also meant the end of the beginning of his promising personal and professional comeback. And, it was Sir Elton’s memorable tribute, ‘Empty Garden (Hey, Hey Johnny)’ – expressing our feelings better than we could say them ourselves.

“He must have been a gardener that cared a lot/
Who weeded out the tears and grew a good crop

And we are so amazed we’re crippled and we’re dazed/
A gardener like that one no one can replace”

Although Lennon was by no means perfect, his music became an articulate, passionate voice for a whole generation’s aspirations: including world peace,

“All we are saying is give peace a chance”

and peaceful relationships.

“Woman, I know you understand the little child inside the man/
Please remember my life is in your hands”
– from ‘Woman’ 

But, it was Elton John’s/Bernie Taupin’s rendition song, ‘Candle in the Wind 1997’, which John performed at the funeral of Princess Diana at Westminster Abbey  – a worldwide televised audience of two billion – that’s my most memorable music moment. The song’s sales– top 20 in Canada for three years – and later overall global proceeds, raised close to $300 million USD in support of her charities like landmine victims.

“Goodbye England’s rose/
May you ever grow in our hearts.
You were the grace that placed itself/
Where lives were torn apart”

“And it seems to me you lived your life/
Like a candle in the wind.

Never fading with the sunset/
When the rain set in”

Yes, music can bring back memories, but only we can measure the tears… the joy… the meaning to our lives… moments that will forever live within our hearts.

Fred Parry

www.fredparry.ca        The Music In Me
May, 2016








Apr 262016

When my son was in public school, it was determined he had Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Otherwise a normal kid,he had a mild problem concentrating. He understood most of his teachers,but on his bad days, he just smiles and says he was “slow to learn and fast to forget.”

The U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) states it affects 11% of school-age children – including 19 percent of high school age boys – struggling with low self-esteem, troubled relationships and poor performance in school. So, naturally, as parents, we were concerned not only with his marks, but with how he viewed his own potential.

However, the psychiatrist and ‘special needs’ staff – who had indentified our son’s ADHD – had a conflict dealing with his grade seven home room teacher. He refused to change his teaching ways… saying the classroom for “dumdums” was down the hall.

“How can you just leave me standing?/Alone in a world so cold?” When Doves Cry  by Prince

In my experience, all great teaching is built on acceptance. A teacher can be respected for their knowledge, but a great teacher is loved because they care.

Then things changed for the better.

His secondary school guidance teacher – who didn’t let the confines of a wheel chair disable her from thinking of possibilities  – was an educator our son trusted. It took some time to convince him that he could handle university work, but she taught him to develop a disciplined approach, along with some study strategies and time management skills; his confidence doubled. Who can put a price on that?

It’s probably, why he became the emphatic, encouraging teacher (and parent) he is today: demonstrating any willing professional can easily adapt ADHD teaching skills – and better understanding of all students.

I wasn’t diagnosed with it until adulthood, but related signs were there, including: anxiousness, wanting everything done yesterday, and trying to do too much. ‘All or nothing’ became my motto, but at what costs? Now, I see this way of living is no way to die.

My best learning experience didn’t involve a “teacher”… it was at the reigns of an older horse named, Johnny. He was the pride of Pat – a champion western horse rider, trainer and breeder.

The two were a natural training tandem, and when I, as a rookie rider, started by putting Johnny’s saddle blanket upside down, Pat said, “Well, you really are a beginner aren’t you?” Johnny sighed.

Yet, by the end of the practice, she asked me to take Johnny back to the barn; and along the way, I had to lean over, unlatch the gate, ride through and turn Johnny again and close the gate. I didn’t learn until afterwards that this was an advanced skill – not normally taught to beginners. Pat said, “I figured you could handle it… Johnny likes you!”

“And feelin’ good was good enough for me…” – Me and Bobby McGee, by Kris Kristofferson

Pat and Johnny proved what having a little faith in someone can do.

Fred Parry

www.fredparry.ca              The Music In Me
April, 2016







Mar 252016

Last week our youngest celebrated her ‘30 something’ birthday – and what a start to life she’s had!

It all began one day when I thought someone had left the radio playing upstairs – only to find one of our girls (then a 3rd grader) singing to herself… unaware of how good she sounded. What followed, in the years leading up to womanhood, saw her enrolling in singing lessons, joining a band, playing at some of Toronto’s top clubs and winning a government grant (to produce an introductory CD)… we all thought they were “on their way.”

When their CD came out, the original songs were well received, but her warm, “pitch-perfect” voice seemed buried in the instrumentation background. Apparently, this was deliberate as it was considered in vogue. We all wondered why, if the group had this “ethereal” voice, it wasn’t featured along with those intriguing lyrics emanating from her heart.

“And with a voice like Ella’s ringing out,
There’s no way the band can lose”
Sir Duke by Stevie Wonder 

Plus, after she came back from an international jazz festival in Poland, much of the production arrangements – creative input she’d been promised – had been completed. Whatever the reasons, it seemed like a lack of faith – something she highly valued.

“How on earth did I get so jaded?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Life’s mysteries seem so faded”Runaway Train by Soul Asylum

The management entertainment team who signed her because she wrote (let’s say) ‘Green’ music, now expected her to write ‘Red’ music’ – because that was getting radio play. Not wanting to copy someone else’s style, she explained, “Dad, even if I’m successful doing it their way, but I’m not happy, is it worth it?” She and her group voted and made the hard decision to disband – two going on to earn their music degrees.

Worried her career talent would never sustain past this point, I talked with Canadian folk recording legend Valdy, who after hearing the story, graciously invited her to write some lyrics for his new album. Being a father himself, I believed he was moved to offer help because he didn’t want to see any young artist’s future in music die. With such dedication to the arts, no wonder he’s been awarded the ‘Order of Canada’ for a lifetime of individual and social responsibility. She was grateful for his support – we love him – yet, in the end, felt she hadn’t earned the right. Valdy understood.

“Runaway train, never goin’ back,
Wrong way on a one-way track”

I just wasn’t seeing things through her eyes. As much as I wanted it for her; it was her life. No matter how well-intentioned my urgings were, I had to let go or become ‘another brick in the wall’. I could never control all the outcomes in life, why act as if I could?

Letting go was a challenge. But her forgiveness and an old piece of paraphrased scripture saved the day for me: “It may not come when you want, but when it does it’ll be right on time.”

Fred Parry

www.fredparry.ca               The Music In Me
March, 2016