Sep 252017

John Lennon reminded us in Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy): “Life is what happens to you when you’re making other plans.”

‘Life’ happened with news of the death of Alexander Martinez – an adult student attending a college night course that I taught.

Alexander was a real gentleman and a genuine person.  Originally from El Salvador, he told us, in a class presentation, how he had been a 3rd year law student who was forced to leave school to make a living. 

His life was a series of stories, with victories and losses but, being forced down, he came to succeed later. As he talked (needlessly apologizing for his command of English) I was able to see the picture of a man who was ‘worthy of his suffering’– choosing not to give in to defeat. I wondered how it was that a man like Alexander could find it so difficult to get meaningful employment in Canada. Was it his English? It certainly wasn’t his ability to communicate.

Nor was it for lack of effort as two years earlier, he worked hard on completing another of my business courses. The night I passed on the sad news of his sudden death to his classmates, we were consoled in the memory of the spontaneous group exercise we did for him after his class presentation. We conducted a “brainstorming” session to develop ideas that would help him gain employment. We listed these on large board sheets which we all signed, along with our best wishes. Later, I glanced over to see Alexander re-reading those sheets. He seemed moved that we took the time to care.

Perhaps, that’s why a large majority of Canadians have decided to welcome these hardworking refugees – from  places like Syria – to our shores. We know that we all began as newcomers and there’s no seniority with citizenship. There are short-term costs. But, how many would trade places with people having no future?

And, overcrowding fears seem overrated. For example, Germany with a large foreign-born population – that has accepted more than a million migrants since the Syrian crisis began – has a recent total immigration ratio of about 1% per population. Yet, to listen to some, you’d think it was 100%.

 “I’m gonna soak up the sun/ Gonna tell everyone to lighten up”

Soak Up the Sun by Sheryl Crow

Welcome to Canada Sign


That doesn’t mean, as in Canada, it’s been  easy integrating refugees; but, you can see indications of acceptance everywhere… that the will is there to do so. For example, brightly coloured lawn  signs (church-initiated  from America) can be seen today sprouting up in Canada – proudly proclaiming one message in three languages: “No matter  where you are from, we’re glad we’re you’re our neighbour.”

If that’s what Canada is all about, it’d be nice to show it with a deeper empathy and understanding. 

So, good-bye Alexander. And, on behalf of your classmates, thank you for choosing Canada! Your life decision has helped reaffirm ours.

“ I see friends shaking hands/ Saying, “How do you do?” /They’re really saying, “I love you” .

  – Over the Rainbow / What a Wonderful World  by Isreal “IZ

Aug 252017

Will Rogers once said that, “I never (yet) met a man I didn’t like.” Most people have taken that comment out of context. If they look at his full statement he adds,”… if I had a chance to meet him.”

This happened to me with the recent passing of singer / guitarist Glen Campbell. I read many of the tributes and interviews and got up to date with the history of the man – like you would in an interview.

Image result for roy rogers and trigger horse

Initially, I found his Rhinestone Cowboy music video – he’s riding a star-spangled rodeo horse and decked out in a glittering cowboy outfit – to be incongruous, as set against the reality of what I knew as serious world-wide issues. It just seemed that everything they said about showbiz was true: you have to get through the superficial tinsel in order to find the real tinsel.  As imperfect human beings, we’re the first to ask for forgiveness and understanding; but, are we the first to extend it?

Of course, music insiders knew him as a virtuoso guitarist – who Alice Cooper called one of the best five in  country or rock. Despite not being able to read music, Campbell was in great demand as a session musician  – from Sinatra to the Beach Boys – who could hold his own with anyone.

Then, there was his pitch-perfect, warm tonal voice that made him a household name with such hits as Galveston, Wichita Lineman, By the Time I Get to Phoenix, Gentle on My Mind, and of course, Rhinestone Cowboy – over 45 million in sales, six Grammy awards, his own national TV show, plus acted in a movie opposite John Wayne. Yet his demons were many: his cross-addiction to cocaine and alcohol – with three failed marriages – hard times like he sang about in Rhinestone cowboy.

  “There’s been a load of compromisin’ / On the road to my horizon /But I’m gonna be where the lights are shining on me”

His salvation? With the faithful help and love of his fourth wife, Kim, he beat the booze, beat the drugs, became Christian and was there… along with his five grown children, announcing he had Alzheimer’s and was doing a final “Goodbye” tour. It was a sellout as fans welcomed the chance to honour this crossover legend.

The family’s ultimate aim was to bring awareness and support for Alzheimer’s victims and their caregivers at

But before the disease reached its final stage, he co-wrote ‘I’m Not Gonna Miss You.’

“I’m still here, but yet I’m I’m gone/ I don’t play guitar or sing my songs…

I’m never gonna know what you go through/ All the things I say or do”

As psychiatrist Victor Frankle observed in his book ‘A Man’s Search for Meaning’, men like Campbell were “worthy of their suffering.” Can anyone ask more? Perhaps, just a breath away, Glen Campbell’s riding tall in the saddle… again.

Jul 252017

“I guess you can say that I’ve been lucky… all because of  you”                                           My Life Story by Gladys Knight

Coming back from London – driving down the western slope leading to our Bright farmhouse – I could see in the distance a strange van slowly crawling out of our gravel driveway. Two minutes later, as I walked towards the backdoor, I see my wife’s purse tossed on the deck, the foreboding house keys hang in the lock; yet, her car is parked as usual.

As I tried to piece this all together, I receive a garbled call from her cell phone saying, “Fred”… the phone goes dead.

Quickly, I make a round of phone calls to friends – no one’s seen her. Then, after getting another cryptic call from her cell phone, that ends abruptly, I figure this is either a cruel joke or something worse. Having had enough, I call 911. A patrol car arrives soon after.

I reviewed the situation with the officer. Why did she leave her purse and her house keys? Was the mysterious van a reason in her disappearance? If everything was normal, why wasn’t there a note? Why were her phone calls suddenly cut short?

With so many questions and no answers, he places an “all-points bulletin” call with the description of the mysterious van. As we talk further, I don’t know what to think. Finally, a call rings through: a friend, on a hunch, drives to nearby Plattsville and locates her. My wife has no idea the police are looking for her, but understands.

My wife calls and, talking to the officer, he learns that  she was about to unlock the kitchen door when friends arrive in their new van. She walked over to greet them and accepts a last-minute invitation to a get-together at the local curling club – uncharacteristically forgetting her purse and house keys in the process. She tried to call me to explain what happened, but couldn’t get through. Apparently, the two garbled cell calls were the result of poor reception from inside the arena complex – she was now using the club’s main line. Our friend offers to drive her home.

Outside, getting back into his cruiser, he calls for all units to stand down and waits for my wife to arrive home safely.

Finally, freed from my worst fears – knowing she’s only minutes away – my eyes unexpectedly fill with tears, making it impossible for me to speak, as shock sets in. Showing great empathy, the officer suggests I wait inside… “out of these cold winds.”

My wife arrives and he explains to her my reaction over her disappearance, while adding, “…and having met you for just a short time, I can understand why.”

“Me, I’ll take her laughter and her tears / And make them all my souvenirs / For where she goes I’ve got to be /The meaning of my life is… She”  She by Elvis Costello

Inside, she gives that knowing smile that asks if everything’s alright. It is.


Jun 232017

My “Canada 150” moment begins with the image of Canada’s own supersonic jet fighter – the Avro Arrow.

The delta-winged Arrow was the fastest in the world (Mach 3) at 70,000 feet; could go from standing at idle to almost Mach 1 in 4.5 seconds; used a world-first computerized flight control and weapon systems; could be completely refueled and re-armed for takeoff in less than six minutes; and had a projected range of 750 miles compared to the 350 miles of the Bormarc missiles that were to replace it… and that was 1958!

File:DSC 6934 - Canadian Pride.jpg

By Dennis Jarvis – Flickr: DSC_6934 – Canadian Pride, CC BY-SA 2.0,

As a kid, I created a special hook shot when playing basketball that saw me sinking soaring baskets from centre court. I called it the “Avro Arrow” shot. Such was the impact on my own little world.

Then it was gone! Black Friday, February 20, 1959: The high-tech Arrow program was  terminated along with 30,000 Canadian jobs; our entire jet aviation industry devastated; and a “brain drain” of our brightest engineers and scientists – lost to NASA.

Saying it wasn’t cost-effective despite the National Post’s position that 65% of all funding was returned to the government in taxation – and not waiting two weeks for a scheduled record-breaking operational review and worldwide marketing début – the government shut down the plant, and later, quietly ordered the Arrows to be cut into pieces. Canadians were filled with ineffable sadness to see newspaper-released photos publicly revealing the ignoble destruction of our Arrows.

The real miscalculation: “The scraping of the Arrow program, and the replacement Bormarc Missile System still failing in testing, Canada was left essentially defenseless for two and a half years during the height of the Cold War with Russia.” – Avro Museum

More money was then wasted buying used, inferior US jets – the equivalent of 130 new, advanced Arrows. “Penny wise and pound foolish?”

Death row – destruction of the Arrows, 1959

“You take what you need /And you leave the rest
But they should never /
Have taken the very best”

The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down by The Band

Can it happen again with Canada’s commercial jet aviation industry?

American Boeing has filed a NAFTA free trade ‘America First’ complaint against its Canadian commercial jet rival, Bombardier; yet, wants sell Canada new military jets. Should they have it both ways? As Retired Major General Lewis MacKenzie proposed, why not objectively investigate a renewed Arrow program, save $100’s of millions buying US jets and re-invest it in our own economy?

As a former Avro employee said, “The real crime of the Avro Arrow cancellation lies not in the economic calamity it unleashed, nasty though that was. The lasting tragedy is that confidence and hope for the future were also demolished for so many of our residents on that Black Friday in 1959 – taken apart, like so many Arrows in a hangar.” Journalist June Callwood called it a “soul-theft.”

Quoting Sir John A. Macdonald – his statue being featured as part of the ‘Prime Ministers Path’ at Baden Ontario’s Castle Kilbride, “We are a great country, and shall become one of the greatest in the universe if we preserve it. We shall sink into insignificance and adversity if we suffer it to be broken.”

Maybe there’ll come a time when we won’t need weapons of war. We can only hope and pray – even as we search for peace. But another “Black Friday?” Oh, Canada!

Fred Parry          Music In Me
June, 2017



May 302017

“People who need people/
Are the luckiest people in the world”
 –  People by Barbra Streisand

When I look back on some of my favorite people, they all have a different story … with the same message.

Bob has been my mechanic for over thirty years.  He has taught me a lot about cars, but much more about life. In all the time I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him lose his temper; and as a younger family man, I remember how hard that was when you’re trying to balance family responsibilities and job pressures.

One day, I asked him about it. He told me that the secret was to only work half days. Half days? I didn’t get it. I mean, over the years I have always dropped off my car very early for repairs. I also knew that he often worked well into the evenings. He looked at my puzzled expression and said, “Well, like I said…  half days. That’s 12 hours isn’t it Fred?

That Bob… he’s been the funny one!

Once my wife gingerly drove our car into his extremely busy garage. She was dragging the muffler system on the ground. Bob stopped everything, took her car in, fixed it all up, and sent her on her way in no time at all.

A few days later, I dropped in to thank him and asked how he was able to help her immediately when his shop was already full of cars. He simply said that if it had been his wife who was in a similar situation, he’d like to think that some other mechanic would do the same thing.

Looking back through my young teenage years, I do recall being influenced by some of my relatives in a positive and vicariously religious manner.

From my maternal grandmother, I learned how a simple woman of faith could command the love of everyone who met her. I could tell that she was special because of how she treated me – with kindness, patience and with such gratitudef or any little thing I did for her. She had an easy way about her: like the time I stressed over not having any cake mix in the house for my promised birthday cake. Smiling she said, “Don’t worry Freddie, we were making cakes long before Betty Crocker.”

From my paternal grandfather I learned that volunteering of one’s time to help others made you happy. And, although he didn’t act “religious” during his lifetime, he had written on his shed door, “A person is closest to God in a garden, than anywhere else on Earth.”

And, from Aunt Mamie, I learned honesty. She was the matriarch of my Mom’s family and if anyone – especially adults – were to cross swords with her, she had a memory that could expose lies in no time.

My dad used to say that civility doesn’t cost anything, but promotes a caring attitude, understanding and self-respect.

Few practice what they preach. In my life, I’ve been lucky!

Fred Parry                The Music In Me
May, 2017