Fred Parry

Fred Parry

Feb 282018

My paternal grandfather was quite a character. And, from a very young age, I could always remember him as a happy-go-lucky guy – always laughing, with seemingly nothing getting him down.

For Grandpa, it was all about attitude. He was always smiling, whistling while he worked and was never one to stand still. As an entrepreneur … could take any business from nothing and make it into a thriving enterprise. At one time, he had a restaurant, hotel and grand home at a very popular summer resort. My grandmother ran the day-to-day operations and was very happy living there.

He was also very industrious. He could take a rundown house and with a little paint,wall paper and carpentry, turn it into something better – all on a  shoestring budget – with frequent trips to the furniture thrift store.

Volunteering his time, he would also visit kids in the hospital, hand painting their room windows with their favorite cartoon characters. The kids just loved him!

A successful salesman, selling ‘pots & pans’ (as he like to call it) he sold to commercial kitchens; and in later life, before his untimely death, he started up a Dry Cleaning business: his idea of a Retirement Savings Plan.

He often used his great sales skills on me – a typical non-compliant teenager – like the time he asked me to help him with a spring cleanup project. Initially, I rebelled against this… couldn’t see why I should help when all my friends were lazing about. Grandpa saw no future in that; so, using his considerable charm he said,” Freddy, think of how fantastic it’s going to be seeing the house with all those windows shining in the sun!” And, just like that, he had me hooked.

And you know, he was right. Looking back, I can still feel how proud I felt when I had finished. Teaching by example, that was my grandpa!

Some years after he passed away, I asked grandma how she felt living without his larger than life personality? She just smiled and said at times he drove her crazy. He was a great people person; but, he was also a bit of a rolling stone – always wanting to move. She then sighed and said, “Still, I miss him, Freddy.” – as we all did.

His personality and love of life was contagious.

When grandmother passed away and we were getting her house ready for sale, I noticed something written on the old shed door I hadn’t noticed before. Grandpa had written (he was always writing), ‘Man is closer to God in a garden, than anywhere else on earth.’

That pretty well sums it up. He was the gardener of our lives – pruning here; nurturing there. When he died, it left a huge hole in our lives, where a great … not perfect … man once lived. As Elton John sang, in Empty Garden, A gardener like that one no one can replace.”


Fred Parry
The Music In Me
Feb, 2018



Jan 312018

Sometimes I wonder how I can write something ‘up’, when I’m feeling ‘down’. I’m sure everyone has experienced less than positive feelings from time to time. My solution is to write a list of all the things in life, for which I’m grateful. (Robert Burns said something about hating the “language of complaint.”) Because everyone’s list is often hidden, you may have to look hard for it. Once you get going, however, it’s quite remarkable how long the list can be.

My list includes:

  • A loving wife and special kids…  who love us back!
  • Comparatively good health
  • Terrific grandchildren
  • Friends: “Do not have a 100 Rubles, have a 100 Friends.” (Russian proverb)
  • Writing this, now

So, what’s your glass-half-full list look like, and how often do you count them? I think if we’re truly honest, we would find lots of reasons to count ourselves lucky. Some people will always see their glass as half empty; but, they should remember the words of Helen Keller’s famous quote about crying because she had no shoes until she met a man who had no feet.

A few years ago, The Smile Epidemic – a noncommercial organization – introduced a website that enables you to track and share what makes you happy. You go on a 30-day mental diet – weeding out negative thinking and developing an ‘attitude of gratitude.’ My eight-year-old grandson, Kolton, is happy playing hockey, baking cookies and beating me at computer games; but, I know what makes him ticklish.

Some may say that children can afford to feel this happy, because they don’t know any better. As adults, we know that there are real problems… misguided people exist… innocent people die. And, 24/7 news channels respond to this… our unquenchable thirst to know… by recycling often disturbing world events, making everywhere seem dangerous. No wonder people become cynical. But, the world is actually a beautiful place.

And, children’s hearts haven’t yet been changed by the world’s harshness.

Let’s encourage them; because, as Mother Teresa of Calcutta explained, as essential as food and medicine is, only love can cure the worst disease that any human being can ever experience: that of being unwanted. From children, we learn that perfect love means unconditional acceptance. We may dispute it; but, how do we feel when meeting those rare, loving people who truly care for others? I find it’s embarrassing to find that I’ve not always acted like them. Not that love is about saying “yes” all the time. Sometimes love is tough; but, it’s there.

And, when it comes to dealing with ordinary folks – which includes 99% of us –  then we can’t afford to have harden hearts. In his song ‘Bullet Proof’, Blue Rodeo’s Jim Cuddy described himself as careless, cruel and easily bruised. How many of us can similarly admit to being half of the problem? Still, Burns had a knack for summing things up best… asking, “A decent means of livelihood in the world, an approving God, a peaceful conscience, and one firm trusty friend – can anybody that has these be said to be unhappy?”

The Music In Me by Fred Parry
January, 2018

Nov 262017

Turning the corner onto a marketplace in the heart of Florence, we hear a street musician playing a flute outside a beautiful Italian cathedral. His song selection seemed to sum up our vacation experience and appreciation of life here – past and present. And, the song he’s playing? – written by a Canadian.

“Now, I heard there was a secret chord / That David played, and it pleased the Lord” Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen     

The haunting notes emanating from his flute seem to reverberate from every corner of the square as we sat to listen on this, perfectly mild, fall evening. Dropping some coins into his open violin case he acknowledges his thanks with a smile and, with a nod to my generation, slips into a rendition of “Yesterday.”

“Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away…Oh, I believe in yesterday.”   Yesterday by Paul McCartney

Later, watching the sun dissolve into the red glow of a Tuscany sunset, I was reminded how we, on a good day, can replace fear with love; cynicism with hope; and tolerance with acceptance. Italians – despite their highly efficient 300 kms/hour bullet trains and lightning quick Ferraris – keep the really important things a central part of everyday living. Things that will never change: love of children, respect for the elderly, and superb cuisine made with pure, simple ingredients.

Households often include multi-generational families residing under the same roof. And, allowing for a greater quality of life, especially with family, most businesses are closed in the middle of the day. For example, we found that restaurants close at 3pm and re-open at 7pm: something to get used to, although businesses vary. Afterwards, Italian families stroll away the evening – seemingly without worrying about tomorrow – enjoying the excited laughter of children playing games.

Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci Wikipedia

Italians also revere their history – especially the Renaissance era represented by the priceless works of Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo. Of course, there’s a big difference between honouring the past and living in it – which they don’t. I was equally impressed by their feisty spirit and can-do attitude. Yet, most Westerners would see their city driving habits as a little chaotic; or,  the whistling around blind turns – offered up by winding mountain roads – as somewhat death-defying. Yet, they get things done… their way.

As the evening church bells ring out – our flutist, switching to the violin –  plays the healing and beautiful strains of Ava Maria. At the end of the day, this only seems right for a caring society: one rooted in faith from the past; and in the future, a faith resolute within themselves. So, is it any wonder, we find ourselves falling in love with Italy: its people; their way of life; and, naturally, the ancient Italian culture?

By almost any measure, Canada is one of the best countries in the world to live. But, let’s be honest, Italy’s something else. It’s called “La Dolce Vita” (The Sweet Life)… something wonderful enveloping you.

Can I get a witness? Oh, yeah!


Sep 252017

John Lennon reminded us in Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy): “Life is what happens to you when you’re making other plans.”

‘Life’ happened with news of the death of Alexander Martinez – an adult student attending a college night course that I taught.

Alexander was a real gentleman and a genuine person.  Originally from El Salvador, he told us, in a class presentation, how he had been a 3rd year law student who was forced to leave school to make a living. 

His life was a series of stories, with victories and losses but, being forced down, he came to succeed later. As he talked (needlessly apologizing for his command of English) I was able to see the picture of a man who was ‘worthy of his suffering’– choosing not to give in to defeat. I wondered how it was that a man like Alexander could find it so difficult to get meaningful employment in Canada. Was it his English? It certainly wasn’t his ability to communicate.

Nor was it for lack of effort as two years earlier, he worked hard on completing another of my business courses. The night I passed on the sad news of his sudden death to his classmates, we were consoled in the memory of the spontaneous group exercise we did for him after his class presentation. We conducted a “brainstorming” session to develop ideas that would help him gain employment. We listed these on large board sheets which we all signed, along with our best wishes. Later, I glanced over to see Alexander re-reading those sheets. He seemed moved that we took the time to care.

Perhaps, that’s why a large majority of Canadians have decided to welcome these hardworking refugees – from  places like Syria – to our shores. We know that we all began as newcomers and there’s no seniority with citizenship. There are short-term costs. But, how many would trade places with people having no future?

And, overcrowding fears seem overrated. For example, Germany with a large foreign-born population – that has accepted more than a million migrants since the Syrian crisis began – has a recent total immigration ratio of about 1% per population. Yet, to listen to some, you’d think it was 100%.

 “I’m gonna soak up the sun/ Gonna tell everyone to lighten up”

Soak Up the Sun by Sheryl Crow

Welcome to Canada Sign


That doesn’t mean, as in Canada, it’s been  easy integrating refugees; but, you can see indications of acceptance everywhere… that the will is there to do so. For example, brightly coloured lawn  signs (church-initiated  from America) can be seen today sprouting up in Canada – proudly proclaiming one message in three languages: “No matter  where you are from, we’re glad we’re you’re our neighbour.”

If that’s what Canada is all about, it’d be nice to show it with a deeper empathy and understanding. 

So, good-bye Alexander. And, on behalf of your classmates, thank you for choosing Canada! Your life decision has helped reaffirm ours.

“ I see friends shaking hands/ Saying, “How do you do?” /They’re really saying, “I love you” .

  – Over the Rainbow / What a Wonderful World  by Isreal “IZ